This week has been a whirlwind week for this girl. Work has been crazy, the second job just as crazy, and running on very little sleep. I am thankful for the kids and their positive attitudes this afternoon though, they've really kept me going today.
I am looking forward to the weekend off and getting stuff done around the house, like putting my office back in order and FINALLY finishing decorating the Christmas tree. Money is kind of tight right now, so going out is kind of out of the question, even though I really want to go see a couple movies and go out to dinner with some friends. However, I think this weekend will be a good opportunity to sit back unwind, get some reading done, and start some projects I have been putting off.
This time of year I get to missing my family a lot. They are all back in Texas and I miss them everyday. My sister is due to be induced with her second baby on Monday, and again I am missing the birth of another nephew. I am not sure when I will make it down that way again and it breaks my heart that I will not be there for such a joyous moment. I often feel disconnected, but at the same time I love where I live. I love having so much history around me. I love being able to say "I want to go to the beach," one day and then say "I want to go hiking in the mountains," the next and be able to do both. I love that I can go to NYC for a day trip or Washington D.C., but despite all that I still really miss my family.
Growing up I was in a hurry to get out. I was in a hurry to be on my own and get away from my family and live my life. There was even a point where people looked at me and said I was always running to stand still. I did things my way, which usually involved little patience and racing to the end result. I raced through college. I raced through the steps I felt society wanted me to choose.
Then, I hit 23 and life slowed me down.
At 23 I hit a serious bought of depression, not sure what I wanted to do with my life. I'd gotten my degree, I had a job, I'd gotten married, but I was so unfulfilled. I wanted children, but knew it wasn't the next logical step for me to take. My world was completely shaken when one of my close friend's boyfriend killed himself. The event itself, didn't shake me as much as the fact it made me realize just how short life really is.
I still struggle to take the time to slow down. It's not something I do really well. I feel like I am always going and going. Taking time to slow down and enjoy life is something I really have to work hard to achieve. I try to go out once a month and take pictures, whether it be of the dogs (my girls) or sights from around the area I live, it is something I enjoy doing for me and it makes me slow down and look at the world around me.
Initially, I was told that I should use a blog to showcase some of my photos, and I will showcase some of them, but I don't want to limit myself to classifying this. I want to write. Writing is what I love, I do it for me, and often it helps me to slow down. I have decided that in 2011 I am going to take the time I haven't taken, ever, and slow down and enjoy life. I won't get wrapped up in moving onto what I feel society wants me to do next. I have a house. I have 2 beautiful dogs. I have an abundance of love from my friends and my family. I have a wonderful boyfriend and soul mate, who supports me as best he can. I have everything anyone could ever want, well except children but that's for another day, I have no need to rush through life the way I have for the last 28 years.
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